The bright side of this quarantine is that families are spending a lot more time together. Ideally, it enables them to hit the reset button as they re-watch favorite movies, play board games, play in the yard or cook meals together.

All this together time also means that spouses are living on top of each other, perhaps learning more about their partner than they intended. While it can be interesting to see a wife motivate her team to finish a project or hear a husband interact with their boss, the close quarters enable some to realize that their spouse is having an affair.

Signs that spell trouble

Some may have suspected that something was wrong before shelter in place went into effect, but they did not have proof. Now the clues may be more evident. These can include:

  • They guard their device: A spouse may become protective of their phone, never leaving it lying around, panicking if they misplace it or showing reluctance to allow a child to use it.
  • Constant communication: It may be common for them to communicate with coworkers on their device, mainly if there is a work emergency, but they now seem to be regularly slipping off to do work in the other room after business hours.
  • New workout regime: Exercise can be a great way to reduce stress, but much longer runs or bike rides may be a cover for something else.
  • Car use: Take note if errands take much longer than usual, and the car can also be a great place to make a call if the house does not offer privacy.

What comes next?

Spouses with children may wish to put off a confrontation about infidelity because they do not want to add to the stress in the house, but their actions may put the health of the entire family at risk if they are meeting in person.

If this is not a concern, a spouse can start by gathering information about the other partner’s actions and make copies of all financial information recently collected for filing taxes. They may also want to discuss options with an attorney with experience handling divorces here in White Plains. The court system will likely be backed up for months or years, so it may make sense to discuss mediation as an option.